I think I'm going to get rid of my iPhone. Well, I'll have to get rid of it, cos half the touchscreen doesn't work so I can't access the calendar, app store, calculator, clock, notes, or maps. Basically, most of the useful ones. It wouldn't be so annoying if this wasn't the exact same problem I had about a year ago. Last year, they replaced it cos it was still under warrantly, but this time around they'd replace it for $200. I can get one of the 2nd generation iPhones for the same amount, but why would I want to do that when there seems to be a good chance that it'll pack it in. The bloke in the store also told me that if I got one of the new ones I can purchase an extended warranty for it, cover it for 2 years. But I object to paying for something and then having to pay extra to make sure if it breaks I'm not completely out of pocket. What happened to making things that-- and I know this is going to be a crazy, off-the-wall suggestion, but bear with me-- what happened to making things that don't break? Why should warranties be necessary?

Was there some point when human manufacturing capabilities switched from being able to make things that don't break all the time, to us needing the warranties beccause you could almost guarantee we'd need them? Or have we always been shite at making things? Did our ancestors sit there, trading flint tools and weapons with one another and offer warranties? When Moses came down from Sinai with the stone tablets and broke them, when he went back up there had God put them under warranty? If it had happened these days, Moses would have climbed back up the mountain, told God what had happened, and God would have told him that throwing down in anger counted as usual wear and tear, and as such wasn't covered under warranty, unless he bought the extended care package with the all-inclusive, no questions asked replacement policy, yours for recurring yearly payments of $349.99 (including applicable state taxes), payable as one payment or six bi-monthly payments with an added $2.50 processing fee per payment.

Part of the problem is we've become convinced of the necessity of certain things. We talk about how much we need things- our computers, cell phones, and now smart phones, but two years ago I had to look up directions before I left the house rather than doing it en route. I had to wait until I could get to a computer to check email instead of doing it every time my phone beeps at me. I had to have conversations with people instead of text streams. So it's not that we need most of it, it just serves to make our lives more convenient. I love being able to refer to what's going on in my life with the calendar on my phone, it's very convenient, but then when the bloody thing breaks and I can't get to it, it creates more of an inconvenience than had I just written it down in the first place, or actually remembered it.

There's an idea. How about we use our brains to live, instead of using our brains to come up with ways to get away with using them less? When I was little I was made to remember our home phone number so if I ever got lost I would be able to call home. Same with my grandfather's phone number, and as I got older I started remembering friend's numbers because I had to actually dial them every time I wanted to talk to them on the phone. Now, there are two phone numbers I know. I forget birthdays, anniversaries, because they're all put in my phone and promptly forgotten about. Maybe if we all started using our brains again instead of relying on technology to do our thinking for us we wouldn't panic over a lost phone and lost contacts. If we did that, maybe we'd realize it's complete bullshit that we buy products that the manufacturers of the product think will break. I'd love to see someone out there offer no warranty on their product, because they believe in it so much and they've done such a good job of manufacturing it, that it's not going to break.

It would be a great tag line, wouldn't it? Instead of saying "America's best warranty, good for up to 100,000 miles," imagine a car company coming out with "America's best warranty, because it's our car you're buying and that shit ain't gonna break?" Owning the equipment as warranty enough to protect against defects.

In the meantime, I'm going to start shopping for another overpriced piece of crap that will charm the socks off me for about six months, then frustrate the hell out of me after that, because I don't remember what I'm supposed to be doing tomorrow night.